Essentials of fatherhood: What my father taught me

Essentials of fatherhood: What my father taught me 
Darrel L. Hammon

My father: the Dean Hammon and eight children

Becoming and being a father can be both a scary and wonderful thing. Unfortunately, there is no undergraduate or graduate program in fatherhood. Fatherhood is a learned art — often on the job after the children come. Some of us have had exceptional fathers. Others do not care to talk about theirs. Still others say their fathers taught them a few things, not necessarily through what they said but by their actions.

My father was one of those whose grounding emerged from being the youngest of 12 siblings. When my father was 11-years-old, his father passed away. Thankfully, he had plenty of grown-up brothers and sisters to help him toe the line although the line sometimes blurred. He entered the military at an early age and learned hard things on ships and being stationed in Japan.

My father was not the type for sit-down conversations and flowery dissertations. Rather, he taught us through a variety of methods, probably gleaned from several sources, including his older brothers and my mother. But taught he did.

Here are five fatherhood essentials my father taught me through his example:

Fatherhood is being a leader through example. My father spent time in the Army as a drill sergeant and often we felt we were part of his platoon. He liked to see things accomplished and done correctly. Consequently, he often showed us once how something was supposed to be done and expected us to learn quickly and carry on after he was gone. Granted, he did check up on us periodically to make sure we had completed the task. Often, he had to re-show us how it was to be done, but he did not hover over us.

Fatherhood is helping others and teaching your children to do the same. Some time ago, my wife and I were reminiscing about our fathers. Both of our fathers have passed away. What impressed us both about each of our fathers was the fact that they would help anyone with anything.

Joanne's father would be the first one out on a snowy day and shovel all the walks and driveways down the street. Although he had to drive almost 40 miles to work each morning, he always took time to get up early and do what the neighbors needed done.

My dad and my sisters

My father taught me the same thing. I remember getting up early and going with him to shovel the walks of the widows and older people in our neighborhood or working in their yards and pulling weeds. On his days off, my father would go and help others with their roofs and fences. He did not ever expect to be paid, and he taught us that helping others was just part of the service we performed as good neighbors.

Fatherhood means spending time with your children. What a revelation this is! Whatever event that happened in my life, my father tried to attend even though he worked shift work most of his life. I suspect there were times when he did not have much sleep before he left to go to work. The former drill sergeant who I thought was the tough guy was really a marshmallow underneath. He teared easily when he talked about the achievements of his family. I remember when I received my doctorate from the University of Idaho, my mother and father journeyed almost 600 miles so they could be with me and share in my success.

Fatherhood means teaching children how to work. One of the challenges I have heard numerous leaders lament is the lack of work ethic in recent college graduates and young people. My father would probably cringe if he heard that. He believed in a strong work ethic — true hard work.

One thing I learned early was never complain because my dad would always find more work for us to do. He specifically built a home in the country so we could have animals — cows, chickens, horses, pigs and sometimes lambs. Plus, we had a big garden, which became one of my responsibilities in the summer. From these many projects and chores, I learned to rise early, work hard and be responsible. I still rise early, even though I do not have outside chores to do. I still have a garden and I love rising early and working in it.

Fatherhood is being happy. My father loved to tell jokes, and his laugh was contagious. I remember going to one of the Call Me Trinity movies with him and some of my friends, and I thought my friends and I were going to die laughing not at the funny scenes in the movie, but at my dad laughing at the funny scenes.

One of things my dad loved to do was yodel. He said he learned to yodel while tending sheep in the high mountain meadows. One of the treasures we have as a family is a short recording of Dad yodeling. My siblings and I have compiled “Deanisms,” and our children now often pan when we use one, “Sounds like he is turning into Grandpa Hammon.” So be it!

Fathers are natural leaders and examples. Mine was no different. Often, though, his teachings never came from a direct conversation. Rather, they came through working with him and watching him help others as if it were just part of his normal, everyday life. I can only hope I can continue teaching my children and grandchildren by being a good example.

My father with my two daughters in 2004 in Quartzsite, Arizona.

You can also read this article at http://familyshare.com/essentials-of-fatherhood-what-my-father-taught-me.

Utah Valley University Auto Expo & Swap Meet

Utah Valley University Auto Expo & Swap Meet

Darrel L. Hammon

            On Saturday, May 17, 2014, I attended the Utah Valley University Auto Expo & Swap Meet held out at Thanksgiving Point’s Electric Park. Now, I have been to a few small car shows, but this one was extraordinary. 

              According to the literature, “The Utah Valley University Auto Expo & Swap Meet is one of the largest car shows in Utah.” It was truly amazing. One of the benefits of the Expo was to help fund scholarships for the UVU automotive students.

             I arrived around 1:30 p.m., and it was going strong. I started my descent into the Expo by walking through the swap meet. From fenders to wheels to engines to car bodies to windshields to muffler tail pipes to a whole host of varied car parts, I had no idea what they were, the place was absolutely packed.

               

             Once inside the actual Auto Expo, I was literally “gaga” over the number and variety of cars. Honestly, I hadn’t heard of some of them before. The brochure said approximately 700 cars had been scheduled to show off their stuff. I suspect there were even more than that.

            I walked slowly though many rows of cars, slowly taking in the amazing cars and gawking at the many colors—bright reds, oranges, greens, deep blacks and purples, a few yellow ones here and there--shapes, years, and varieties. 

Most of the owners  stayed close to their cars, either relaxing beneath canopies or taking in the sun in captain chairs. All were friendly and waved as you walked by. Many, though, busily told their stories to people who had stopped to admire the brightly painted cars.

            Soon, I moseyed over UVU’s V.I.P. tent where I grabbed a delicious dessert prepared by the UVU Culinary Arts students. A couple was sitting in the back of the pavilion. I walked back and asked if I could sit with them. They welcomed me with open arms and introduced themselves as Erik and Judy Jensen from West Jordan although they were originally from New Jersey. They were wonderful!

            Within just a few minutes, they unfolded their incredible story to me. They were high school sweethearts, married, and then lived in New Jersey. Not too long after they were married, they decided they were going to take a trip to across country. They saved their money, took a leave of absence from their work, and headed west on a five-week trip. They wanted to see everything, which they almost did. 

They confessed to me that when they arrived in the west, took in Utah, Yellowstone Park, and Jackson Hole, they absolutely fell in love. They decided then and there, they were returning. They spent the entire trip back to New Jersey, planning on how they were going to pack up and move to Utah. Unfortunately, they couldn’t just pick up and leave. They had obligations and needed the necessary cash to make the giant move across country.It took them just a few years to gather up the money to move out west. Erik came first and obtained a job. He asked the company to give him a week so he could go back to get his family. Once he had his family, he would return to work. He did just that: He drove back to New Jersey, picked up his belongings and his family, and drove back to Utah. When he arrived, he discovered the company had given the job to someone else, thinking he really wasn’t going to return from the east. That didn’t deter the Jensen family. They both found new jobs and didn’t look back although their family thought they were crazy to move out to Utah. Erik told me that they would never live in the east again. They just love this part of the world.

 

          
            I literally could have talked to them all day and listened to their many stories. They make it a point to see the country. I suspect they know more about Utah and its many wonders than most Utah natives. I encouraged them to write a blog about all of their excursions

            I asked them if I could see their car. Of course, like all car owners, they wanted to show off their “baby.” They walked with me to where they parked their 2007 Shelby, an absolutely gorgeous black beast.

Even Carroll Shelby, the owner and designer of the Shelby, signed Judy’s driver’s side visor. “No one touches that,” said Judy as she gingerly showed me the visor and then carefully put it back in place.

                Soon, though, it was time for me to say goodbye to Erik and Judy. Thank you, Erik and Judy, for taking time to talk to me and tell me your story. You have lots of stories to tell, and I look forward to hearing more. 

I then walked around the Expo and admired many more of the over 700 cars present. 

I even saw Batman and the Batmobile.

           

            Some even climbed trees to get a closer view.

           Overall, it was a wonderful show! I salute all those who had anything to do with the Utah Valley University Auto Expo & Swap Meet, especially the UVU Career and Technical crowd. Job well done!

Missions, Reunions, Potluck, and Eternal Friends

Missions, Reunions, Potluck, and Eternal Friends

Darrel Hammon

Our mission in the Caribbean Area Welfare Office was one of the choicest experiences of our entire lives. We were able to travel the Caribbean, training Church leaders and doing humanitarian projects. Who wouldn’t want to do something like this?

While the travel and training were incredible elements of our mission, the real value was developing relationships—relationships with Church leaders and members, community leaders and community members, young missionaries from both the United States and countries of the world, and especially our senior missionary friends who have become eternal friends.

We loved to get together. And that hasn’t changed since we have been home. There is something magical about being with people you know and love.

We had that experience on Saturday, April 5, 2014, right before the Priesthood Session of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We met in the Rodney and Marcia Ford’s home in Bountiful, Utah, one large enough to accommodate 12 couples or 24 people.  

We began gathering around 4:00 p.m., just after the last session of General Conference. Soon, we were giving abrazos (hugs) and commenting how wonderful it was to see everyone. With smiles on our faces and our hearts full, we welcomed Los Mahon and Los Schmitz, both recently home from their missions.

Everyone brought something to eat. Los Ford served delicious roasted pork, with marvelous little potatoes, and sautéed mushrooms. So with the plentiful potluck dishes, we sat down to fine china, around two tables. The chatter and the clatter of voices, food, plates, and utensils echoed throughout the home.

Soon, though, Hermana Ford called out that it was time for the brethren to be off to the Priesthood Session. 

 

While we were gone, the Hermanas talked and talked and talked and prepared the dessert for a sweet homecoming. We barreled through the desserts like we were starving—cheesecake topped with a strawberry goo, German chocolate cake, carrot cake, and an assortment of other postres.

What’s a gathering without pictures. We took group pictures and couple pictures. Others took candid pictures of people talking, people handling guns (1863 version, perfectly safe, no load), and people just catching up on life.

In attendance: 

 

President and Sister Bair came from Washington. They served as Santo Domingo President and Matron for three years; so, their mission spanned all of our missions.

Los Snow were there. They served as Area Auditors and traveled the Caribbean, too, doing audits and training local leaders about Church finances. Their office was just across the partition from us in the Area Office. Frequently, chocolate kiss bombs came flying over to buoy us up. They also served in the Quisqueya Branch one of the small branches in the East Mission.

Los Ford, our hosts, served as the Santo Domingo West Mission couple. Their job was literally to keep the mission running, making sure the young elders and sisters had safe housing, organizing and transferring missionaries safely, working the finances of the mission, and doing a host of other activities. They were always busy. 

 Los Rees, ranchers from Morgan, Utah, served as the Caribbean Area Music Specialists. Ironically and according to them, they didn’t possess lots of musical skills, including not being able to play the piano well before the mission. Elder Rees said he took piano lessons when he was a kid, but the teacher basically kicked him out and told his mother to never bring him back. He literally re-learned how to play the piano, and they taught dozens and dozens of Dominicans how to play the piano and lead music.

Los Low had come from Canada, not necessarily just to attend our reunion but also attend his 50-year Tahitian reunion. They also served there as a couple. He served as one of the attorneys for the Caribbean Area Office while she worked in the temple and taught piano lessons.

 

Los Despain served as temple workers and in a small ward. Brother Despain plays the guitar and ventured to have one made; Sister Despain plays the piano. They were a huge boost in their ward, teaching in the Young Women’s program and lending support to the leaders.

Los Leavitt served as temple workers. If that wasn’t enough, he was called to be the Branch President in Los Llanos, a very small branch in the East mission. They traveled every Sunday and  most of their days off during the week to Los Llanos on some of the most horrible roads in the Dominican Republic. Plus, later in the mission, he was called to be part of the Santo Domingo Temple Presidency.

Los Schmitz had also recently returned. They were the ones who took the Ford’s place in the West Mission Office.

Los Brown came late. They are a wonderful couple who served in the West Mission Presidency and lived out in the middle of the mission and drove thousands and thousands of miles while visiting missionaries, leaders, and others and attending meetings.

Los Eickbush came strolling in, laden with dozens of loaves of his famous banana bread. How we all missed that. Often at Family Home Evenings or any time he was baking, we all received a fresh loaf of banana bread. Bananas (guineos) were plentiful, and he took advantage. They served as the East Mission Office couple and did everything los Ford and los Schmitz did and served in the Branch Presidency in Los Llanos. They were always busy.

Los Mahon had just returned from the mission and are acclimating to the climate and, as Hermana Mahon said, “Wearing pants” as she never wore a pair of pants while she was in the DR. They served as Church Education missionaries in the Dominican Republic and in the Missionary Training Center Presidency.

And, of course, Joanne and I were humbled to be in the presence of these great people. We served as Caribbean Area Welfare Specialists and in the Missionary Training Center Presidency.

It is amazing how close you become with people you meet and associate with for less than 18 months when serving a mission. I noticed the same camaraderie my parents experienced when they wintered in Quartzsite, Arizona. People come together under the most interesting experiences and continue being friends forever. And that’s how we feel about our friends who served simultaneously in the Caribbean Area Office and the Dominican Republic.

 Muchísimas gracias a Ustedes!

“Where much is given, much is expected”

“Where much is given, much is expected”

Darrel L. Hammon

Sunrise in Puerta Plata

Returning to the Dominican Republic (DR) is always an awe-inspiring experience! And that’s just what I did recently.

Three generations: her mother, and her daughter Sarahi

For 12 days, I returned to do some consulting with Dr. Claudina Vargas and MACILE/COSOLA, a non-profit organization that is seeking to develop a Center for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (C-STEM). Here in the United States, STEM has become an integral component of K-12 and higher education. Unfortunately, in the DR, STEM subjects are not necessarily the focus, and many young people are not prepared in any of these subject areas as they enter high school or even when they enter college.

Dra. Claudina Vargas y Dr. Carlos Zómeta

We spent time visiting with teachers, Church leaders and members, community members, and other organizations and groups like the Asocicación Dominican de Rehabilitación Dr. Carlos Zómeta, the DR’s version of Vocational Rehabilitation; Wagner Paniagua from the Centro de Auto-Suficiencia (Center for Self Sufficiency); President and Sister Rodríguez, Mission President of the Santo Domingo West Mission; Presidents Olivero and Brito, stake presidents in Santo Domingo and San Cristóbol, respectively; and many others. What was exciting about visiting with each of these groups and people was that everyone was excited about what we were about and expressed support for our projects.

Teachers who attended the school newspaper workshop

I also had an opportunity to meet with several teachers from three different schools in the Itabo region who are developing a school newspaper so their students can learn better writing, investigative, and publishing skills. Ironically, the power went out exactly at 5:00 p.m., and my beautifully organized PowerPoint presentation became a verbal show and tell. Power is a challenge in the DR. Some schools don’t even have power during the school day. Others have power intermittently throughout the day with a specific shutdown time.

A classroom in the DR

I salute the teachers in the DR. That is one reason we are developing a Teacher Training Institute to help them with a variety of issues. Interestingly, when I asked a few teachers what are the biggest challenges, I was surprised by their answers although I shouldn’t have been because they are almost the same as we have here:  classroom management, community relations, communication strategies, competency-based education, assessment, and many others. Sound familiar, teachers?

Teacher in Puerta Plata and Tekarra, a future teacher (Louise ZoBell's daughter)

We will be looking for master teachers to teach in the Institute in these subject areas as well as in the STEM subjects. So, if you are a master teacher who speaks Spanish and can deliver workshops in Spanish, please contact me at darrel.hammon@gmail.com. We are gathering a cohort group who can travel to the DR to help us develop and teach in the Teacher Training Institute.

Yelissa y Omar Rijo (Omar is a Bishop in La Romana)

Of course, I had the glorious opportunity to attend the LDS temple in Santo Domingo! It is one of the most beautiful temples in the world. While there I was able to connect with our wonderful friends Omar and Yelissa Rijo from Puerta Plata; Daniel Joachim and Katherine Gutiérrez, two teachers in the DR Mission Training Center; and Wilson Segura, Julio César, and Alicia Gómez who work for the Area Office.  Additionally, I received abrazos from numerous friends from our mission in Puerto Plata, Santiago, Haina, San Cristóbal, and Santo Domingo—too many to name. Gracias por sus abrazos!

Daniel and Darrel

Darrel, Katherine, and her novio

Claudina and I were invited to have lunch with La Doña Idalita and Clari Tavares, an incredible family who is so supportive of MACILE and the projects we are doing in the DR. Clari’s son is engaged to the former 2012 Miss Dominican Republic, Dulcita Lieggi. Her mother, Dulce, and grandparents were there, too. The grandparents were some of the first LDS converts in the DR. 

La Familia Tavares

What wonderful people they are! It was a delicious luncheon, but the company was even better.

Darrel and Dulcita

Of course, I had to have my picture taken with Dulcita, the 2012 Miss Dominican Republic!

Claudina, Bonnie, Louise, and Darrel

D

r. Vargas and I had the wonderful opportunity to travel to Puerta Plata, a city on the north side of the island, where we spent time with Louise ZoBell and her incredible family from the DominicanStarfish Foundation. They are doing just great work there, building homes and schools. We visited a few of the new built homes and the families who live there. 

 

Jenny and her happy family in front of their almost-completed new home

One of the families is single mother of four whose mother now lives with her. To see their old home brought tears to my eyes. But the excitement Jenny exhibited when she showed me her new home, which is under construction. Louise and others have developed a house plan to build a house for about $5,000 (US). They aren’t large, but they are sufficient and a huge change from the former homes.

Hill to climb to the school

We also went to a school, up this very steep road. One teacher has two classrooms, one in the morning and one in the evening. While their supplies and resources are dismal at best, the teacher was so positive and welcomed us with home arms.

 

Teacher in a private school

Overall, the trip was a successful one, filled with wonderful visits, opportunities for growth and progress, and a feeling of hope. One of my sole reasons for going to the DR was to seek help and support, including financial, for the work we are doing in developing C-STEM. So, if you are looking for a place to send your money that support excellent causes, I know so many places. You would be surprised how comforting it is to know the good you do for others when you give of your means. We have been given so much. I understand even better the phrase: “Where much is give, much is expected.”

The real reason why we are all doing what we are doing: helping students succeed!